Welcome Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah (Thanks to Allah), the month for tafakkur (reflection) and muhasabah (self-evaluation) is here again. May we all benefit from this month which is full of barakah (blessings).

Three Weeks With Mum...

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Inspirational!

I was movingly inspired by the determination, humility and wit of this brilliant and wonderful man, the late Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008). I learnt a great deal from anecdotes he shared during his last lecture on September 18, 2007 called "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" especially how to achieve their own career and personal goals.

It has been my dream to study at Carnegie Mellon simply because of its well-designed curriculum and the right spirit to learning the fun way... Some beautiful quotes include:

"The inspiration and the permission to dream as a child is huge and will have a huge impact later on in life."

"The brick walls are there for a reason: They let us prove how badly we wanted things and stop the people who don't want it bad enough. So don't bail, the best gold is at the bottom of the barrels of crap."

"When you're pissed off at somebody and you're angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time... give them time and they would almost always impress you"

"You're gonna get the fundamentals down, otherwise the other fancy stuff ain't gonna work."

"When you're screwing up and nobody is saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up... because your critics are the ones who tell you that they still love you to death."

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

"It is easy to look smart when you are parroting smart people."

"There's both ways of saying 'I don't know' but there's a good way and a bad way to say the same thing."

"You obviously don't know where the bar should be and you would do your students a disservice by putting the bar anywhere."

"If you are doing pioneering project/initiatives, you will get those arrows in the back and you'll just have to put up with it."

"The best gift an eduator can give is to get someone to become self reflective."

"The way people perceive you will limit what you're gonna accomplish in life."

"Loyalty is a two-way street."

"When it comes to men who have a romantic interest in you, just ignore everything they say and pay attention to everything they do... its that simple."

"How to get people to help you: believe in karma, tell the truth, be earnest (its better to be earnest than hip because hip is short term and earnest is long term), apologise when you screw up, focus on others, not yourself."

"Get a feedback loop and listen to it."

"No one is all evil; everyone has a good side... just keep waiting and it'll come out."

"Be good at something, it makes you valuable. Work hard but discover what's your secret."

"Be prepared: luck is where preparation meets opportunity. If you live your life the right way, karma will take care of the rest, the dreams will come to you."

For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

Btw, there was a mention that Entertainment Technology Centre (ETC) Academy will be in Singapore soon. This is really cool news!

Merhaba Turkey...

I'm overwhelmed with a mixture of feelings as I go ahead to plan and finalise the itinerary of my Turkey trip... everything happens for a reason and along the way, I've met pretty wonderful and beautiful people who are so kind as to help me with my itinerary... they've provided great insights from locals' standpoint and I even met my 'sister' whom is currently married to a Turkish man... can't wait to introduce her to mum, soon... its just another 2 weeks more!

I've decided that today would be a short post... back to planning my itinerary :)

Well-meaning Intentions

I've heard so much about how love works in mysterious ways. I'm not an expert in that department but I'm trying to figure out how to put it across to people who matters to me that I don't go into something blind-sided by emotions.

I admit in the past, I was overwhelmed by the raw emotions and gave in to the moment and ignoring the red flags. Who doesn't, especially when you are 'young and reckless'? And I need family and friends who matter to me to caution and advise me when something is amiss because sometimes you are so into it that you are blind-sided.

Which is why Islam is beautiful, where marriage is concerned, its not just about me and my future husband, its a family thing and there are ways to a permanent marriage if we take the time to learn and seek knowledge about it, for example rights of husband and wife.

Mum gave a good advice - "If he is a respectable man, he'll follow the Islamic way of proposing and ask for your hand." So think long term... forget about romance, do I see myself growing old with a man I'd call hubby? Do I see him by my side if I fall ill... would he clean after me? Can he be my support system especially since mum won't be there for me? Is it worth my while uprooting myself for him?

Only your mum would hit you at the core and ask the difficult questions and make you seriously reflect on things. With Israk Mikraj round the corner, it is a good time to do Istikharah. May Allah guide me to the straight path and protect me from the hell's fire, Insya Allah! As they say, "Everything happens for a reason". I believe in that.

Count your blessings...

Just last week, besides witnessing my cousin's wedding at Johore, we celebrated my elder brother's birthday... the extended family was there. And today, I celebrated my sister-in-law's birthday.

At a recent management gathering, our group head brought across the point that you shall never forget to count your blessings on a daily basis because these precious gift would be erased by time and you could never retrieve that moment ever again. It struck me that I got to live life day by day, moment by moment and embrace life as it comes with all my heart.

Don't Be Sad...

A note to me:

"Love the one who is beloved to you in due moderation, for perhaps the day will come when you will abhor him. And hate the one whom you detest in due moderation, for perhaps the day will arrive when you will come to love him" - Prophet (pbuh)

The pleasures of life are short-lived, and more often than not, they are followed by sorrow. Life means responsibility, a journey wherein change is constant and difficulties are relentless in their onslaught. The Prophet (pbuh) said:

"This world is cursed along with all that is in it, except for these: the remembrance of Allah, what follows (i.e. good deeds and whatever Allah loves), the scholar and the student."

With that, I accept life as it is and adapt accordingly to all circumstances and live today free from sorrow, bother, anger, jealousy and malice coz today may be my last day to live. The past has departed and is gone, I will not cry over it and the future is in the realm of the unforseen, so I will not be obsessed by it. I will count my blessings and live in the current and make the best of it, insya Allah.

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

I wanted to save this book and read it on my way to Turkey but that is another story altogether. I love the story as it centers around coping with love lost, rebirth, keeping faith and never giving up. Coincidentally, recently I learnt a valuable lesson on trusting your instincts more than you allow yourself to. In other words, stop being so 'anal' i.e. its ok to let your mind shoot irrelevant questions in your head; just don't blurt it out unnecessarily. Roger!

Anyway, every time I pick up a Nicholas Sparks material, I could somehow relate to it because I have gone or am going through what the characters are experiencing or feeling.

And the idea of having a scrapbook to document and share special moments with your child is priceless! I used to do that, keep a scrapbook with little anecdotes of places I've been to, or random thoughts on how I felt at that very moment... sometimes I'll include meaningful poems if I chanced upon them.

I also learnt about high risk pregnancies and Preeclampsia or Toxemia are common. I've heard how the blood poisons the baby and the mother causing complications such as kidney failure, liver cirrhosis, convulsion, etc... not a pleasant sight!

Most importantly, the material stresses the need to prioritise what is most important to you - family, health, integrity, friends and work, which I hope to emulate... time to take stock of things, take it easy at work for the sake of my health and perhaps settle down and start my own family is a good way to start living a more meaningful life? ;)

Shelfari, Cool Stuff!

Recently, Maish introduced me to Shelfari. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first... then I spoke to Regy about it and he immediately subscribed to it.

In retrospect, I gave it a try and realised that I could actually gain much insights from other like-minded readers as well about the books they find of value. Some of them provided really smart insights and different perspective of the materials they've read.

So in essence, we have a meaningful network going on here. If you are keen to see what it is all about, check out my profile and the books I've read, reading and planning to read :)

Sundays at Tiffany's

Over the weekend, I finished reading Sundays at Tiffany's. An easy read but I love the simple plot with the twist in the end. I could truly relate to Jane, the feelings she had growing up and the love-hate relationship she has with her mum. And then there was Michael, oh Michael. If only this world has more of such a man with a beautiful soul like Michael... Wishful thinking? Perhaps not :)

The Choice

I've just finished reading Nich's latest novel, The Choice. As always, Nich never fails to bring tears in my eyes. And coincidentally, the way the story started seems almost a reflection of what I'm going through right now - feelings that surpised me especially that sense of familarity that seems comforting, safe somehow. Could it be kismet? Hmm...

Anyway, back to the material. What I wonder is how many of us take the time to ultimately confront ourselves with the most heartwrenching question of all: how far would we go to keep the hope of love alive? Perhaps for some, you would go to great lengths for love, no hesitation at all, just throw caution to the wind and let love lead the way... and for some its just halfway or somewhere familiar. But one thing for certain the saying "should have been better this or that..." seems to ring true for all...

What I'm driving at is that we all have a choice and sometimes the best decisions we have to make comes from the God given gut feel or intuition. We just have to trust ourselves :)

Conspiracy Theory?

"When the power of love overcomes the love for power, the world will know peace." - Sri Chimnoy Ghose

Thanks to Regy for sharing this nice documentary with me. Let the truth prevails...

PS: Happy birthday to Grams, Dad, Aunt Z, Cousin Nurul, KS & Val and if it matters to you, Happy Father's Day!

Dear John

I finally caught up with my leisure reading and literally surprised myself when I finished reading Dear John in a day! There were a few tear-jerking moments, something which Nich has mastered oh so well. I could relate with the moments of anguish when John was at lost for words or his rebellion while growing up (I must say I was a rebel with a cause as well or at least I'd like to think I was!), or when Savannah wrote those beautiful letters to articulate what's happening in her life while apart from John, or the conflicted feeling of letting go (yes its hard but I admire her courage for knowing when its over), etc.

The material advocates that we should never judge a book by its cover (and its not easy to NOT be judgmental) and to give everyone an equal chance regardless of what the outcome would be. And that communication, honesty and trust are the cornerstones of a stable relationship. Allowing the one you love to grow in order to attain his/her greatest potential speaks of your maturity. Sometimes you just know if someone cares for you just by being, without the need to utter those 3 words.

What I find appealing about Nich's writing is that he always tells beautiful stories while creating awareness about a cause that is close to his heart. For example, I also learnt much about Autism and Asperger's syndrome from this material.

In reality, its rare to find someone with a tender heart who is willing to extend that unconditional love, without owning the girl he loves. People - by human definition - tend to be selfish and perhaps this book raises hope that a John Tyree could be for real :)

Sensible Vigilance

"Its the one who slices the bread that controls its distribution on the bread line. You must be able to recognise all the slight-of-hand trickery of the one operating the slicer... to guard yourself from rationing and perhaps even starvation." - Jack Payne

Today I feel obliged to express my thoughts on an important situation that is rampantly on the rise (it's not the first and it would definitely not be the last) and may we all benefit from this sharing from friends and those close to us... It is pertinent that we share our stories so that we reduce the likelihood of such recurrence... we owe it to ourselves to practise and advocate responsible digital citizenship.

Despite technological advances that present an illusion of security, we are as vulnerable as ever to human trickery i.e. con. And human beings - social creatures that we are - are taught from a very early age that helping others is a worthwhile practice, especially those with whom we most identify.

A good practice to protect your own interest is to always document and keep a record of all that is being said. This is important because loop holes would surface due to inconsistent half-truths.

Stay calm and rational at all time (don't be swayed by emotions), listen intently to the 'life story' which always plays out as being a sad one due to a repertoire of well-rehearsed fictions from which to draw what is needed.

Inspect the photos shared, it would typically contain separate images of his 'family members' instead of one where all are in the same photo (its not that hard to use other people's photos and post them as your own these days).

The conman typically zero in fast and furious (red flags and alarms should be ringing so do not shrug them off, always trust your instincts as it is a God-given gift) in this zero sum game with great ruthlessness in the hope to create and maintain control;

He attempts to gain your confidence and trust early on, usually by tugging at your heartstring by way of affection, he uses the "Us against them" tactic, in the hope that you do not listen to those around you (he even has the guts to ask you to disregard your family) but believe him. And if all else fails, in his desperation, he uses emotional blackmail.

As you record all that is being said, never fail to concurrently research your target before making any decision, especially if he requests for financial assistance by painting a desperate scenario of helplessness... Remember, that the problem is his, not your's and any sensible man would first and foremost seek help from those closer to him like family or friends he has known from years back, not someone he just met a week ago, putting you in an awkward position.

Regardless, always protect your own interest first. I agree that in life, you have to give hope a chance but not at your expense so sensible vigilance always wins as its better to err on the side of caution. I have to thank family and close friends who have been supportive in giving me sound advice. You know who you are :)

In retrospect, I never fail to turn to God, seeking Almighty's guidance ... perhaps this is a test of my love for God above all. And deep down, I feel at peace. Whenever you make a decision for the love of God, it is always the right one. Ameen!

Family Matters

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

16 May 2008:
My cousin is getting engaged on this special day. How I wish I could get away from work to witness this special moment of her's.

15 May 2008:
The long awaited letter confirming my enrolment into MSc Information Studies finally arrived, Subhan Allah!

11 May 2008:
Don't quite get it as to why people would spend one day in a whole year with their mum when they could display their love consistently on a daily basis. Anyway, if it matters to you, here's a tribute to all mothers and happy Pangea day!

2 May 2008:
Post labour day, aunt Z welcomes her son (aka my 30th cousin) into this world, little Muhammad Zul Ilyaas.

PS: Happy birthday to buddy Y.

An Open Letter of Comfort

Friendship is a sheltering tree.

The protective streak in me was on high gear tonight. I felt immense pain yet great pride almost simultaneously. Contradicting? When you have a long history with someone you care loads for, you tend to wanna shield the person from impending danger. But I guess life, with its hard knocks and bumps, makes a person stronger and ultimately better.

My dear, be strong. In an enduring relationship, it takes two to make a genuine effort to commit unconditionally, communicate openly and honestly without taking each other for granted. Its easier said than done but once indifference sets in, its literally a battle lost. Without a doubt, letting go is the right decision... you owe it to yourself to be happy.

With time, that special someone will come knocking when your heart is truly ready. I'm here for you as you take the time to heal.

Save Our Children

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.

It was a wake up call for many after watching The Inconvenient Truth. The reason the movie strikes a chord and brings shivers down your spine is because it was based on cold hard facts.

Let's commemorate World Environment Day on 5 June 2008. Perhaps its time to reflect and change your lifestyle for the better of human kind...

Portrait of a True Muslim...

In the name of Allah
The Most Beneficient, the Most Merciful

When asked by Saydina Ali (k.w.) about his way of life, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) replied:

Meditation in GOD is my capital
Reason and sound logic is the root of my religion
Love is the foundation of my existance
Enthusiasm is the vehicle of my life
Contemplation of GOD is my companion
Faith is the source of my power
Sorrow is my friend
Knowledge is my weapon
Patience is my garb and virtue
Submission to the DIVINE will is my pride
Truth is my salvation
Worship is my habit
And in prayer lies the coolness of my eyes
And the peace of mind

(Hadith)

This is something I endeavour to attain in life... ultimately.

The past weeks have been...

2 April 2008:
My follow-up with my specialist concluded that I will have to wait another year to monitor the 3 Fiffetes and 1 Cystie (yup she popped up out of nowhere this year). The irony was when my specialist asked, "How are you feeling today?", I told her with great honesty that I was feeling great (the regular pilates/yogas/aerobics did some good to my body) .

1 April 2008:
Speaking about re-thinking my position, I received an email from Dubai with a letter of offer. Now I'm really in a dilemma between work, family and studies...

31 March 2008:
My good old friend is back so that means its time to catch up real soon! Meanwhile, I just came back from Carousel at Royal Scotts on the Plaza... It was actually a sad occasion as we bid farewell to a dedicated HOD (she was a tad emotional prior to the dinner)... She would be missed. That means I need to re-think my position as I have a rather bad feeling about the near future...

29 March 2008:
I completed my test and interview for the MSc Information Studies and received a verbal confirmation about the recommendation to enrol me... During the interview, I realised that there was a total of 1500 applications of which 350 were shortlisted for the test and interview and ultimately only 150 would be enrolled * cross my fingers and toes*

21 March 2008:
In the morning of Good Friday, Muhammad Hairil Iqhwan was born without his father by his side... Stay tuned for further details about the second son of Norhisham Isnin.

20 March 2008:
Just came back from my corporate group networking night... Its been awhile since I played pool (was tempted to participate in the Karaoke session but my sensibility got the better of me, thank GOD!) .

14 March 2008:
After the cost-benefit analysis of the divisional retreat, I concluded that the lunch buffet at Kintamani was excellent and thought nothing much about the rest of the day... so you go figure that one out ;P

"Surrender"

This song has a beautiful melody with meaningful lyrics. Below are the translation in English (I hope I did justice to it). Every day of my life, I plead for You to constantly Bestow me with tranquility, instil the resilience in me To face the challenging times that may come my way expectedly I'm sure there's meaning therein You instil hope in me to answer all of life's query Allowing me to live my life calmly with grace and dignity With a deep sense of gratitude, I pray that You will watch over me Bless me with Your compassion and mercy O my Lord enlighten my heart that is within me To face the challenges that come my way unexpectedly O my Lord I submit everything to You completely So that my soul is calm with Your guidance, always Ooo At times I feel like life is a fragile glass Can end up in broken pieces when devoid of patience Steady me to bravely persevere through it all oh Strengthen me, equip me with resilience O my Lord enlighten my heart that is within me To face the challenges that come my way unexpectedly O my Lord I submit everything to You completely So that my soul is calm with Your guidance, always Shower Your blessings on my life O my Lord enlighten my heart that is within me To face the challenges that come my way unexpectedly O my Lord I submit everything to You completely So that my soul is calm with Your guidance, always Ooo